Saturday, November 14, 2009

My Generation

Don’t make someone a priority, if you are just an option......

I absolutely love this saying that I cannot find an author to give credit. It rings true everyday of my life. I have used this saying more than a couple of times in my GTalk status messages and also in my facebook, twitter and orkut pages. But till today I hadn't given serious thought to this line. You might ask what happened so much today to make me think about this sad fact of life. I believe it hasn't been a smooth sailing for anyone in their love-life, who ever says that they've the perfect love story, are either lying or are acting in a movie.

Now coming to the saying- Whether they are friends, family or a special someone they really can’t be that special if you are just an option in their life. I feel that people do make you an option in life, especially in your work, your college(at times it does feel wrong), your social circle and so on. It has been the norm in the fast moving world that we live in. I still remember the term Friendship of Convenience when it was told to me by a teacher at the TIME centre I had attended. He told about people being friends for just the sake of using eachother when they need something. People who think like:

How can I use him? He is well connected, financially well off, resourceful, he is a doctor, lawyer. Build and maintain the relationship, some day he could be useful. Usefulness goes, friendship goes.

I hadn't got seen much of FOC(not pronounced as the F word, but just F.O.C) in my life until I joined my work and their again in my training programme the company HR head told about the same term. He rather gave a 30 slide PPT on how to do the same quoted lines I've given above. But finally he told the term Social Networking, rather than FOC.

I had heard about networking since I am a part of the Orkut era, the Facebook generation, the guys who wake up and tweet their status and check their mails before going for a piss and will even F**K for the next best thing. Now when my generation decides to make friends it is a simple step. There are a thousand different places where you can meet people, maybe real, maybe virtual. But anyways you will always find people; more so because you live in a world with 6.6 Billion people. But still people will be happy to talk to some unknown on a website rather than with their next door neighbour or even to the people living in their homes.

There is a saying "my enemy's enemy is my friend." Common enemy goes, friendship also goes. True Friendship cannot survive without the element of mutual respect and that I feel is the one thing that lacks in these ONLINE, always there for you friends :).

I am not pointing fingers at anyone, I am very much part of this generation, I get happy when people say they "LIKE" my stupid messages in Facebook, or when someone RT's my tweets; why go that far, I ADORE the one's who comment on my blog and for me and my generation this has become a way of attaining social recognition, of having a status that they won't get otherwise. Especially fat guys like me who would not be able to make it to any happening parties or be invited to movies or hang outs because of their looks or because they can't dance that well and so on and on........

Now I feel I've digressed quite a huge bit away from the saying at the start the blog; so let me just FOCUS and get back to the point. (MBA has been doing its good bits to me too, don't you see the jargon's I've used till now :D). So I was talking about someone making you an option when you make them or rather plan to make them a priority. I feel that in the family life the FOC should just F*** off and you should have sincerity in your relationships. I can't imagine a father having a caring relation with his children only so that he thinks they treat him well when he's old. Going by the present way MY generation is going ahead I don't think even if we care for our kids they will take care of us when we're dying. Maybe this fear is making my generation to run more after the all elusive MONEY.

I still remember my dad's words when I had told him that I want to quit my job and go for an MBA, he was shouting into the phone that I am mad to leave such a well paying job and I don't realise the value of a government job. It is true, my generation doesn't know the value of a government job. Even after working in a government company I feel that I would do good in a private firm because their I will get recognised for my work. Its true that private firms reward people who show dedication and usually in govt. firms and departments good dedication means trouble for the person.

But then when I joined my course in July and in the discussions in class when people diss about government jobs and the work culture and how corrupt the officers are and that if the country is allowed to run by private firms then we'd beat US in a matter of years and all that wonderful ideas go around. Only the handful of people who've worked in govt. firms and have led a non-corrupt, non-maligned career(albeit short) will disagree and try to persuade that NOT ALL the officers are like that(heck I too was in that category a few months back, so how can I agree??).

My generation takes pride in the discussions and dialogues that we all carry out, but still we either never vote, or never care to know who wins the elections. As far as we are concerned it is always one corrupt guy to another, one uneducated fool to another and one idiot to another. But like the Tata Tea campaign I ask isn't it time to wake up and do something about it?

But then I myself am not doing anything about it other than proudly showing my finger off about the vote I cast, then why will anyone else do anything about it??

PS: Title credited to The Who for their wonderful song - My Generation.

*Disclaimer: I am being overly emotional tonight. These are the rantings of a person with absolutely nothing fun to do right now. And instead of getting studies done, is making non-sense blogs.


Gunaaa said...

Easily one of the best blogs dude..
I hate "networking"...v r not systems to be networked..damn v r humans!!!!
well written..:)

mayhem said...

This will surely reform OB's course outline... nice 1 dude..

Abhijith said...

Great post man..
I see some errors in the spelling.. "there" has been typed as "their"

Sandeep SS said...

Seems like you are in a disturbed state of mind..Meaningful writeup.

In every discussion involving youth it boils down to a 'systemic fault'. One seems to think, it s all abt casting their ballot. Things would change once they start thinking what can one do to make this a better place.

Keep writing bro!!

Rahul said...

Are you drunk man?? wht the fuck happened?? Any issues?? Any previous memories huntin you down?

Your blog is well written n i guess u wer writin it when u wer drunk. Just relaz n feel free, u r cool n i love u bro. Takecare ;)

elmariachi88 said...

'Networking' is unpleasant but is one of those things which are here to stay whether we like it or not.

What bothers me even more is the joy we seem to derive from little events online. Nailed that. Being RT'd, winning a "fight" in a forum, status being commented on... Sad and scary. :(

An uncharacteristically rant-ish post from you.

~==[[[ Abhi ]]]==~ said...

@ Gunaaa - Thanks macha!

@ Mayhem - Wish she would read this and have a discussion about it in the class :)

@ Abhijith - Thanks for the appreciation. It happens most of the times :)

@ Sandeep - Thanks man, am a bit disturbed with the USE phenomenon being USED by my friends these days! It is easy to fault someone else and more easier when the someone else is a non-reactive non-living entity.

@ Rahul - I do drink, but then I hadn't drunk when I had written this, I was just royally pissed with the things happening around me!

@ elmariachi88 - I completely agree with the things that you said man! It is a fact, but is a sad fact!

karthik said...

One of the best blogs by you abhi. Guess this has come after a lot of deliberations. and do agree with your F.O.C point.Nicely framed piece

Hari said...

This is the first rant post that I'm reading in your blog. Not much surprised because I KNOW what you're going through/what you've been through.

Totally agree with the statement.

And yeah, even I've learned to make people an 'option' rather than a priority. Ditto with networking.

Learned the hard way. :(

P.S. Great to see ya back, bro. :) Total awesome post. :D

elmariachi88 said...

It's Raouf. :) forgot to sign with my name.

hv said...

Nice one dude...this funda of F.O.C always existed but now with the advent of social networking sites it is more appreciated and accentuated :)

Mathai said...

Dai oru quarter Old Monk adichu kidannu urangade!

Spartan said...

Nice post bhai...very relevant indeed...friends being used being carried as an option.. b frank i ve been on both sides of this...felt bad initially,but then got used..i had to....

i too felt u were totally disturbed...lik u wrote this when u were completely down...

anyways cheers...u r a part of this world...get used to other go...:)

manoranjini said...

I disagree on 1 point.You called it non-sense and i think it's not!This is just a piece of what goes on inside the heads of those in our generation who still think about the world other than themselves.
Networking and relationships are two diff things and should be treated as such,according to me.
As of just voting and doing nothing more,what more can be done ?I'm thinking ...
Good to see you back here!Do think aloud like this once in a while.

Kshitija said...

Nice post...but a little on the pessimistic side dont you think... I agree that quite a few people of our generation are into being friends for just the sake of using the other person but you do make some good friends online plus you never know when you'll find a long lost pal either... but on the whole its definitely food for thought

Alen said...

Nice post....
I totally agree with ur point abt FOC...
I ve seen gals doin dat more than guys..
Just 2 get something done... In malayalam I cal it ...........thaangal
Hope u can fill it easily Abhi... :-)

kochuthresiamma p .j said...

interesting post. gives insight the thinking of your generation.blogs are excellent mirrors - - -

~==[[[ Abhi ]]]==~ said...

@ Karthik - Thanks man. A lot of things did go through my mind when I was planning to put this down, but I felt someone should talk :)

@ Hari - Not the 1st rant as such, but the 1st rant since I've left college :). I didn't want people to feel that I lack maturity when I get candid, but then finally I couldn't hold it back ;)

@ Raouf - Nice name anna :)

@ hv - Totally agree man!

@ Mathai - അതൊക്കെ ശ്രമിച്ചിട്ടും രേക്ഷ ഇല്ലഞ്ഞിട്ടു ആണ്‍ ഇങ്ങെനെ ഒരു rant.

@ Spartan - Thanks Vishnu. People do get used to it, but then when it happens from all people you know, it gets on your nerves!

@ Lekshmi - I feel the thing that is going on isn't how it should be, hence I called it non-sense.

@ Kshitija - I agree that online friendships aren't all bad, but then the lack of the REAL feel makes it easy to just make use of the person; also some people find it the other way too, they feel more comfortable opening up to friends on-line, rather than in reality :)

@ Alen - അളിയാ നിനെക് അപ്പൊ നല്ല ജോലി ആന്നെനു ഞാന്‍ വിശ്വസിക്കുന്നു!

@ ത്രെസിആമ്മ ചേച്ചി - Thanks for reading and commenting :)

sulfia s santhosh said...

"Don’t make someone a priority, if you are just an option......" good one but then how do you make out if you are just an option or a priority and by the time you realize it's too late for are irremediably diseased by then.
Good post:)

Saurav said...

its not that our generation doesn't do anything, they do contribute in taking part in overall development of the country.. its just that we are afraid of politics.. every1 see this as dirty but one should take inspiration from our Prime Minister.. He didnt have interest in politics initially but his education helped him climbed ladders and today the whole world is proud of him.. We may not directly jump into politics but can use our education to help reform the nation